we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
