I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
a search helicopter?!
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
