this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
