He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
