i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
last night I used snow as a chaser
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
