Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
