Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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