As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
