I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
