I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
