his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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