It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
