once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
