I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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