She's JV to your varsity
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I intend to get homeless drunk
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize
