Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You pole danced in your parka.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
