i think my tv is drunk
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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