yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
