where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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