He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize