i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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