So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
