My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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