Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
