Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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