I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
