Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
