Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
