just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
