New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
