Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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