Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
