I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
