I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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