what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
