O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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