i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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