A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
