They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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