she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
