Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
