Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize