Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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