dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize