I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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