I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
