just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
