I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
