i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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