Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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