Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
