When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm like, not good at living.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
