i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
