I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
