u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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