I am spending my child support on dildos
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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