Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
