Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
