If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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