$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Even my vagina gasped.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize