i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
