I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize